"Is that a marrow in your pocket...?"

So...

A routine trip to the allotment, accompanied by Woody, has shaken the very foundations of the AOC. It transpires that, in his wisdom, Woody distributed marrow plants only, and no pumpkins - a fact not known until the emergance of long, fat, dark green things on the vine. Whether this was merely an oversight or a plot to undermine us remains to be seen. Clearly, either Woodward or, more likely, Hawkes has (unwittingly?) sabotaged this year's crop. Vengeance will be swift.

Woody "discovering" his "mistake"

Despite this setback, we plan to press on with the competition. This year's PAMELA competition is for the largest marrow, so we plan to redeem ourselves by trouncing the opposition here. The plants have now grown too mighty to be contained by the greenhouse-tent, so I've taken it down before they simply devour it. They've also started flowering, hinting at a level of fertility so potent I'm a little scared of getting close for fear of impregnation. Or devouring. So it could soon be time for pollenation, and with it the promise of the most giant marrows ever to be bred in captivity (Pff, captivity - these things are as wild as bison!)

(Click photos to enlarge)

Two enormous marrow plants

A flower ready to be pollenated - note the un-pumpkinlike bit

So don't lose heart, fellow PAMELA members. Keep speculating, impotently, as to who's going to have the fattest marrow this year - we don't want to rob you of your dreams (it's just that we'll be living them, not you).